Connecting With People

Today was a nice change of pace.
I’ve been so concerned with myself and my performance, that I never stopped to consider my connection and support of my classmates. I’ve written before about the importance of connection in theater and in this work, but I’ve been neglecting it as far as voice and diction is concerned, beyond just smiling at people during warm-ups and the like. But today I think I rediscovered that feeling a bit, and I still like it.
There really is potential for great joy and theatrical experience in being an audience member. I’ve forgotten that in the shows that I’ve gone to see this semester, and I’ve been too focused on myself and the notes I was taking or whatever. But I think one of the reasons that I love minimalist, intimate theater is what I discovered today watching my classmates perform their pieces: connection with a performer as an audience member has as much potential, if not more, for change and discovery as does performing onstage, and I think that’s something that I and many others tend to forget. It’s not very often that I find myself watching a piece of theater and find that I am deeply, emotionally, and intrinsically connected to the performers onstage. I found it most recently during the Shakespeare Festival watching How to Fight Loneliness. That piece, and the actors in it, reaffirmed my faith in theater and its power to effect change in the hearts of its watchers. I felt it again today. Especially during Carrie Letelier’s performance, I suddenly just sat up and took notice of the fact that I was stirring with the words of her piece, and after she finished I felt rather stunned, simply because of how long it’s been since a piece of theater made me feel that way.

I sometimes feel that this is one of my primary shortcomings as an actor and as a person. I struggle frequently to connect with and hear people on the level that other people seem to be able to reach naturally, and it’s often very frustrating for me and those around me. In all honesty, it’s probably at least 15% of why I’m eternally single. But that might be why theater calls to me so much. Theater and the arts are one of the very few places that I can feel that depth of emotion and connection that I crave in all aspects of my life but have had such a hard time finding. There are few things in my life that can bring tears to my eyes in the way that I Dreamed a Dream or the final scene of Return of the King or Beethoven’s ninth symphony can, and I think that’s why I crave them so much. I can only hope that someday I can create that feeling for someone else, and hopefully help them find and crave the power of theater in their lives.

Theater truly is a power and a force, and I’m thankful every day that I can tap into it and contribute to it in my own minute way.

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