First (Second?) Hamlet Performance

Improvement is here, and I’ve got a long way to go.
But on the plus side, the boredom is gone. I think that performing, or at least speaking the text and being out on the floor is what I love the most. I can get through the warm ups and the IPA, since above all I crave the work and I can keep it out in front of me to look forward to. Today was absolutely awesome for me, and I think I know why. I was able to perform and work my Hamlet piece today, and it feels like it’s been a long time coming, but I’m glad we had the wait so I value it more.

Ugh, I love Shakespeare so freaking much. I was trying to decide which piece I would do for this Shakespeare text assignment, and I went through a couple of choices, some that I’ve done previously and some that I’ve never explored before. I was leaning towards Brutus’ “Romans, countrymen and lovers” speech from Julius Caesar, which has been my go-to audition monologue for quite a while, but that didn’t feel right. I really wanted to expand and explore something that I’d never tried before. I remembered that I chose Hamlet’s soliloquy for our first text exploration of the year, and I decided to bring it back for a more thorough workshop. I know it has a well-deserved reputation for being overdone, but I’ve always felt somewhat self-conscious that I didn’t have a good interpretation under my belt and ready to perform, which is something that I’ve always wanted to have. As I looked back over the piece, I began to connect with it so much more and find so much more depth and meaning in all of the subtleties and turns of phrase, especially considering how bland it was at my first performance.

Way back when I performed this at the beginning of the semester I slipped into all of my old tics and habits that I worked to break in Acting 1 last semester. I was tense throughout my body, and I equated stress with emotion for the audience. Looking back on it, it wasn’t very good. I also lacked all of the connection to the words and their meaning that seems so indispensable now, and I was merely reciting words that I had memorized and trying to sound as “Shakespearean” as possible. And for where I was, that was decent. But now, looking back on that performance and looking forward to my final this week, it’s so incredibly exciting and fulfilling to see the improvements that I have made in discovering this piece and the beauty that it contains.

This is not to say that today was anywhere near perfect. I still have so, so far to go and I am aware of the many shortcomings I have in the performance of this piece: the lack of impulse with my breathing, the dropping off of consonants, and several others. But it is encouraging to know that I can fix these with work, and find in this piece some of the best dramatic work I have ever been a part of. How incredibly exciting.

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