My Final Poe Performance


AAAAAHHHHHHH THAT FELT SO GOOD!
My final performance of the poe piece was today, and it felt even more connected, driven, and powerful than the first time. I continually have this experience of thinking that I nailed it or that my performance was perfect straight out of the gates, and that’s a serious failing in my own personality. I continually have to work to make sure that my hubris isn’t getting the better of me, and as an actor that’s significantly difficult, but I feel like it’s healthy to work on.

The improvement that I felt between today and my first performance of this piece was significant. I went into today not feeling entirely sure about the new choices I was making with the scoring; the inflections and punctuation especially felt a bit forced. But as I went over it and started getting into it, I started to connect with the choices I was making, using my breath as conscious support for the emotional link I was discovering. The onomatopoeic words started to bite and sizzle in my mouth so much more, and the impulses for breath created some emotional contrast that I was very happy with.

I’m so happy to have had the opportunity to explore some of Poe’s work just a little bit. Obviously I’ve read pieces of his before, for school assignments and the like, but I had never realized just how much emotional resonance and poetic beauty were contained in his words. I’m a classical actor by training and preference, and I’ve always had a deep love for language and the emotions that can be felt and explored with words, but I now regret my lack of exploration beyond the standard classical playwrights. Shakespeare has always been my primary focus and preferred medium of performance, but with the studies and effort that we have put into these Poe pieces I have started to develop a deep affection for his work and other elevated writers. I think a lot of his emotional depth and connection come from his upbringing, the death of his parents and the conflict he experienced with his adoptive family. It’s always been enthralling for me to think about the fact that the people with the most pain and loss in their past have the greatest potential for artistry and beauty, if they choose to turn their feelings in that direction. I’ve decided that I would much rather live as an actor and dive into the pain, sorrows, and joys of theater as fully as I can, rather than live a bland life and never know what it is to feel that deeply, and I’m grateful for the opportunities I’ve had to experience and experiment with that.

Someday I’ll create my own piece, but that’ll probably not be for quite a while. Until then, I’m dedicating myself to exploring as fully as possible the canon of writing and beautiful word usage that exists in the world, and finding the best of it and making it mine.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Body Connection

I’ve connected to something and I think it’s important. I’ve been in a yoga class all semester and it just ended, and it got me thinking a lot about my body, my health, and the connection it has to my voice and my performances. I’ve never valued and respected my health, both physical and mental, as much as I should, and I’ve suffered some setbacks this semester because of that. But I want to dive deep and figure out what exactly the relationship is between my health, my voice, and my emotions, and I think voice and diction has been very helpful in at least one side of the equation. Anyone who knows me knows that I am an extremely rambunctious person. I despise sitting still, I’ve played at least three competitive sports for my entire life, and anytime there’s something physically exerting to be done or participated in I am the first one there. This has often been a great benefit to me, and I’m very grateful that I’m in shape and healthy, but there are some drawbacks to this way...
Read more

Year end reflection

I just got home from the end of year TAD gala, and I want to look back. What an amazing, terrible, incredible, painful, stressful, joyful, influential, demolishing, and building year it has been. There have been struggles and successes, and I wouldn’t trade them for anything. I came into this year terrified of what it would bring and how I would react to being thrust into my college life as an underage freshman. I couldn’t have asked for a more dynamic time. Really the biggest thing that has been so influential on my development has been the relationships and friendships I have cultivated during my year here. I have met so many incredible performers, educators, and friends, and I am grateful for the time I have had here with them. I have had such an amazing time in all of my classes, learning from amazing people and developing my acting, technical abilities, my voice, and my body. And I would be remiss if I didn’t gush over Urinetown for at least a moment. Being cast in my fir...
Read more

My Future Goals

I figured it was probably good to figure out my life. I've often heard that it's a really good idea to write down your goals, so that way you have something holding you to them. I realized that I've never actually gotten down on paper the goals that I have for myself in my industry and for my future. I'm also writing this down in several other places so that I have it to always focus on and remember, so hopefully I'll have some sort of cohesive guideline for how my life is going to go. I'm also including the goals that I can into the semester with, so I can report to myself on how I did and hopefully have this to look back on it I ever get down on myself, which happens far more than I wish it would. My first goal for my life was to make the Classical Acting BFA program. Fortunately, I can now confirm that I managed to succeed in this one. Looking forward to this school year, my first year in this school, I wanted to establish my place and my ability in this...
Read more